Hit on ?!?

After grabbing coffee at Coffee Day with a friend of mine on Sunday afternoon, I had some shopping to do with my mother. We decided to go to Shoppers Stop (the one at Chetpet). I helped my mom pick out a nice piece of jewellery for someone in family, helped another lady at the counter pick out something for her daughter in law. So, basically, I was putting on stuff for other people to make up their minds on what to buy for other people.

Once I was done with that little mission, while I was having something gift wrapped, I meandered aimlessly around the clothes section, hoping that during one of my laps I would zero in on some find. That didn't happen. But something even more miraculous did.

I was hit on. By parents.

This elderly gentleman struck up a conversation with me, and I probably wouldn’t have continued if not for his kind looking wife, smiling continously at me. So, I chatted. First, he asked if I was single. Then, the couple made some eye contact amongst themselves.

"We overheard your conversation with your mother" He said.

"Excuse me?!" I replied, clearly perplexed.

"’About the online tamil matrimonial website… " He continued.

"Ohhh… that wasn’t about me… that was my brother we were talking about…. !" I blurted.

"Yes! See we have a son and he's 25. He’s in the US and he’s been trying the whole online matrimonial thing. And when we saw you, we just knew we had to approach you. You have a very friendly smile and a pleasant demeanor and we were wondering if you’d be interested."

"Wow! Um, I don’t know what to say"

They said a few more nice things their son. And then, some more nice stuff about me.

"Thanks," I responded, half flattered, half scared, "I appreciate that, it's very nice of you to say..."

I had no intention of having my mom run into these people in the midst of a conversation like this. So, I quickly wrapped it up.... Told them that they were such sweet people to say all those nice things to me. They invited me to come home and told me that I absolutely had to keep in touch with them.

So, that was the strange bit for this evening. Neways, I usually don’t walk up to strangers who gesture to me….. but, I guess they jus’ seemed so non threatening.

Weird Auto Incident

It wasn't exactly a secret mission.

Yesterday, I was in an auto (had some car trouble) on my way to work when all of a sudden, in the middle of heavy traffic (for those who know Chennai, this was on the nungambakkam main road), my auto driver turns off the ignition, walks over to the auto guy next to ours and, in the midst of honking horns, flexed middle fingers and a plethora of tamil profanities, passes a baggie to the other driver in exchange for a big, huge stack of money.

Not quite the stealthest mission I've ever witnessed. Then again, the only "missions" I've ever been privy to have been on NYPD Blue.

I patiently waited in the backseat for my driver to complete the deal (or rather, I was too stupefied and paralyzed from shock to say anything; and something tells me he could have cared less about hurrying things along and getting me to work on time). And once he did, as if nothing at all out of the ordinary had just happened - you know, as in a drug deal between two in the middle of a bustling street - my auto driver gets back in the vehicle, stuffs the money in his pocket and continues on his way to my intended destination. Weird, huh?

Then and Now

This is my brother n’ I cooling our heels, at a very dirty place, in the back-of-our house …I think this was the place we used to bathe our dog in…. And ya, that’s us in there!!! I've been told that I used to get myself promptly into any place that remotely resembled a pool. Hygiene was apparently never on my mind back then…

And twenty years later, here I am cooling my heels :)

Happy Mother's Day to you, Mom!

----------> My mom n’ me, with my li’l cousin

Thank you for all the incredible things you do for me everyday, Mom… A happy mother’s day to you... and many many more happy, happy days to come!

All my love,

Me :)

Truth.... Aaaaargh!?!?!

Honestly, people don’t stand a chance with me… initially, he always exceeded all my expectations because I refused to look at him as anything less than what I needed him to be; a hero who would salvage me from my present. He would say exactly the things I wanted him to; He would act exactly like how I might have intended it to be. Because I only heard and saw what I wanted to. And thus, I would happily dream our future together. And it would be perfect. It had to be. Because in my mind, he was a flawless character.

And of course, I’m a creative person and I create fantasies all too well. I did that with him. My fantasy was probably as far away from reality as possible. But it was perfect in my mind. And I refused to see the truth for a while. It was easier not to. My hopeless romantic head imagined him to be my knight in shining armor. Because I chose to see only what I want.

I keep my mind and heart, detached in these matters, so one of them is always kept in the know of what I am really doing. and I never let the two communicate cause they both never agree on the same... Nonetheless, today,I am seized violently by my inner senses directing me to sanity.

Lowering him from the pedestal and seeing things for where they really are is a terribly difficult thing for me to do. It hurts too much. But when the reality is finally clear and it hits me in the face that we are not destined, I realize what I really had was only my fabricated fantasy of him. His real self was not even close to that. Or maybe, just very different from how it seemed in my mind. He is still my dream and his flaws are even more beautiful but seeing reality also means understanding the truth.

And so, here I was, inexplicably entangled in my emotions, in the midst of the damn truth.

And now, I have to hear your voice cause I miss you too much.

I have a new job! (yawnn...i'm feeling sleepy now)

This will be a really short post. I am very sleepy… so, that’s why. I have joined my new organization and it’s been hectic. This is my first week. So, I’m just learning the ropes and familiarizing myself with the politics of what I am going to be doing. It has been interesting, to say the least… a lot of new people… and that’s always good :)

First few days is also ummm… wat should I say… not strange, but also not quite familiar… I’m smiling at everyone, making small talk, conscious of myself, making opinions, blah blah blah…and most of all, I miss my old people!!! :(

So, anyway things are going well at my new workplace… (Though all I really did do today was go from desk to desk). I assume it is going to be pretty demanding soon…That's why they hired me... The people that I am working with seem nice and smart…. So, I think I will enjoy working with them all.


Til Later then.

Bolt Horoscope

I always check my horoscope everyday; it’s really more of a habit than a belief… I do it the same time I check my mail every morning. Earlier, it used to be Vanity Fair, msn sometimes, Linda Goodman a lot… now it’s been Bolt for sometime. The reason it is bolt now for sometime is because these guys have been fucking right a good many days. I almost feel like I’m being spied upon.

Now, since I do this on an everyday basis, there’s no real attention going into it… but today’s horoscope hit me smack. There it was in the very first line. The Word. The single most theme that dominated my mind for most of the time these last few weeks.

Independence.

I was hooked. I continued to read on. And I might as well have been reading to myself my own emotions, my own mind, and my own contemplations. These guys have summed up pretty much all aspects of my current situation in life.

Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you, My Horoscope:

Despite the fuss you make about your independence, you're not a loner. Get that through your head right now and we'll all be a lot happier. The eclipse in your 7th house and the outlet of the T Square in your 4th both suggest that you are attracted to aggressive people, but resent them when they try to control you or, worse, go off and do things that don't include you. Of course, you don’t like playing games. But sometimes other people will hurt you and this heedless attitude will annoy you. It is okay to demand a lot. After all, you deserve it and you’re willing to give double measure in return. You've also got father issues up the wazoo. You're not crazy or wrong to feel conflict over all that. Just don't deny it and you'll be on the road to happiness - or at least recovery.

Seriously, you Bolt guys …. This is getting creepy now. I don’t want to be spied upon. I appreciate your astrological insights or god power or whatever… but you guys have to understand that spying is not a choice you can use. And it’s definitely not legal!!!

Going with the flow

I want to live in the ‘now’. I want to go with the flow. But that doesn’t stop me from being upset by what is and angered by what isn’t. Yeah, I am in the present…Sure. But sometimes, I feel like I don’t want to. I know that’s a terrible thing to say. But I am consumed by my pain of the past. I am anxious about my future. But I know I have to be open to my thoughts, feelings, emotions and sensations as they come to me. As many books say, I have to feel, observe, accept, surrender , let go and live.

I read something that Taoism talks about (from a friend’s blog) - “The current in a river carries you. If you try to swim upstream, you break the flow, you struggle. If you see a rock and you attempt to hold tightly onto it, the water will shove, thrust, push against you until your arms weaken and your body aches. Work with the current and the current works with you; work against the current and the current works against you. The only way to avoid the struggle is to simply flow; allow the river to carry you, surrender to all that is, and your course - even when rough - will be tranquil.”

And today, that is what I do. Yes, I am upset by what is, I accept that I am anxiety ridden about what might happen, I am worried about what will be; yet I surrender to my pain and let go. For there is no point in struggling against the flow. Instead I know I will flow with my current to where it will take me.I will try.

My family pic ^_^

Mom, Dad, my bro n’ me

Covering it up

Ummm…. Something did happen today… but I don’t want to tell…well ... I don’t want to tell because it undermines my parking ability… but I will tell…. Have I ever been the kinda person to keep these things to myself… anything to myself, for that matter ... I forget why that’s a good thing.Aneway... this is what happened… I went shopping today at this outlet called globus… first, I went shopping without money… like that isn’t tragic enough... this guy at the parking place asks me to park in this tiny place between another car and a food cart...He claims my car will fit here… Hell...who am I to argue... I assume he knows better…at least in matters like this, I consider myself to be quite dense… it turns out, though, that probably for the first time, my judgment had been rite ... I promptly ran into the car I was trying to park NEXT to… and who said people in Chennai aren’t nice… I immediately had this hoard of people around me scheming with me as to how to avoid the owner of the car noticing what I’d done to his car… and these people went into damage control mode asap… some two people lifted my car, yes, actually physically lifted my car, another jumped in… parked appropriately for me… fixed the other car with a little covering up for me… I mean it was really super! These guys were great!

Armed with love for these people and a little panicked (and unnerved) about my parking skills, I continued with my shopping… I should tell you that I am really the ‘smile-at-everyone’ kinda gal… and yesterday, I was testing a theory that I’d been talking to earlier with a friend of mine… how we ‘look’ at each other all the time, but never really ‘see’ each other… I mean, how is it really possible to feel alone when so many people constantly surround you… and I have actually been warned by many never to make eye contact with strangers (I think this is stupid)… so, yesterday I smiled at everyone I ran into while shopping…and made eye contact… yes, I’m sure they thought I was weird… and only the men smiled back at me… but it’s a start.

More on this later… I read an interesting article earlier today… about how the line between stranger and friend is so fine; one single smile utterly wipes it away.
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Happy Birthday, Carol!

Last night, Carol and I had some good ol' b'day fun... mid nite cake cutting, cake eating, catching up, etc etc .... celebrating her 26th birthday! We have journeyed so many steps together... and gone through so much.. ups and downs. It's great to have a friend like you, Carol...And a very happy birthday to you .... Mmmuaahh :)

Seriously though, question for you-Carol: Is this really going to be your last b'day as a single? goddd.....it's gonna be the end of yet another era!

p.s. Rathi... wish u'd been here too. we missed you so much!
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