Truth.... Aaaaargh!?!?!

Honestly, people don’t stand a chance with me… initially, he always exceeded all my expectations because I refused to look at him as anything less than what I needed him to be; a hero who would salvage me from my present. He would say exactly the things I wanted him to; He would act exactly like how I might have intended it to be. Because I only heard and saw what I wanted to. And thus, I would happily dream our future together. And it would be perfect. It had to be. Because in my mind, he was a flawless character.

And of course, I’m a creative person and I create fantasies all too well. I did that with him. My fantasy was probably as far away from reality as possible. But it was perfect in my mind. And I refused to see the truth for a while. It was easier not to. My hopeless romantic head imagined him to be my knight in shining armor. Because I chose to see only what I want.

I keep my mind and heart, detached in these matters, so one of them is always kept in the know of what I am really doing. and I never let the two communicate cause they both never agree on the same... Nonetheless, today,I am seized violently by my inner senses directing me to sanity.

Lowering him from the pedestal and seeing things for where they really are is a terribly difficult thing for me to do. It hurts too much. But when the reality is finally clear and it hits me in the face that we are not destined, I realize what I really had was only my fabricated fantasy of him. His real self was not even close to that. Or maybe, just very different from how it seemed in my mind. He is still my dream and his flaws are even more beautiful but seeing reality also means understanding the truth.

And so, here I was, inexplicably entangled in my emotions, in the midst of the damn truth.

And now, I have to hear your voice cause I miss you too much.