As I sit here wiping away tears, bitter tears that shouldn't even be falling- every time I wake up, every time I drive, every few minutes I allow myself to be on my own, every time someone asks me a question, Icurse myself for letting you get the better of me.

I thought I had it all figured out. I thought 'we' had it all figured out.

You are not him. As much as I want to believe you are, you're not. If you had been him, I know you would have understood. I know we would not be breaking each other. We are meant to build each other up, not break. I try, and I fail to hold my own and convince you I know what I'm doing; I'm smart; I've thought things through; I have a solid head on my shoulders; I'm capable; I'm worthy. If you had been him, you would not have needed me to make you feel whole. Because separately, we'd already be whole. If you had been him, we would have wanted the same things. Our joy and comfort together would far outweigh the moments of anger and unhappiness. You would not be taking out your insecurities on me. You would not make me feel helpless. You would not be helpless. Your words or rather the lack of them are crushing.

What gives you the right to make me feel this way?

I do. I give you the right to make me feel this way.