I am Okay

I’m in it right now. What exactly “it” is, I’m not sure, but there are so many acute emotions I’m feeling and they have nothing to do with hormones or too little sleep.

I am lonely yet I need to be alone.

I dream of accomplishing my dreams and wearily wake to realize it was all just a blurry night-time vision. But then, in the clarity of real life, others achieve what I can only seem to in fantasy.

Life was supposed to mean more by now. I was supposed to mean more by now. I was supposed to be somebody. I was meant for more; I was meant to over-achieve.

Getting through the day was never supposed to have been my most difficult task.

I am okay. I know that I'll be okay. So I may feel abandoned and alone. I may feel like a colossal, failing joke. I might even feel hopelessly and unreasonably sorry for myself. But at least I feel. With boiling blood burning through my veins, at least I'm alive and I feel. So there's that.

There is that.

And only some sad salty drops relayed what mere words simply couldn't express.

I am okay. I am going to be...

Okay ….. Later then… More on a cheer-ier day!