Timing

When it comes to relationships, they say timing is everything. Who “they” are, I’m not exactly sure, but --- and I say this with conviction --- throughout my short dating life, I know “them” to be right.

Timing can pretty much make or break a relationship. Timing is everything. For instance, take me in my 7^th standard; I was more-than-smitten, head over heels in love with my then-boyfriend. Laugh all you want, but I believe this to be true. I don’t remember what a relationship comprised of then. But we wont get into that. Aneways, like I was saying.. I was young, yes. But I’ve never bought into the whole “you’ve got to have life experience in order to know what love is” , crap. I believe a 13 year old heart has every capacity to feel and beat just as strongly for someone as a 31-year old heart does. The how and why these feelings are occurring isn’t readily available then and not to discount the fact that life experiences does shape us and, and allows us to learn and grow. But, infatuation and heartbreak are definitely not age discriminatory.

What if, instead at 12, I had met my 7^th grade boyfriend now? Would things have turned out differently? Unless you're my aunt and uncle or even my boss and his wife, for that matter, who met in the 8th grade and dated each other (and only each other) all the way through to marriage, meeting the man of your dreams in the 7th grade is most always going to end in heartbreak. I felt I loved him, sure, but I knew even then that it wouldn't last. I wanted it to, but I wasn't naive; I watched my older siblings date. And date. And date. And I saw them through their school and even college years, transitioning from one relationship to the next.

I also think often, about a certain someone, “ What if we only had to meet now, as opposed to when we were 18. Would things have been different? “

I remember the moments it started. I needed nothing then. Instant connection – you name it, I experienced it. Although I didn't know then the monumental role he'd been cast to play in my life, I've never been more certain upon meeting another human being that the interaction was fate. But among other factors, the timing was off. I was a kid with a life of learning and growing ahead of me. I am an altogether different person now – at least in some ways. We have grown individually. I am sure of that. But would the attraction, the passion still be there? The answer is almost impossible to recognize. We carry with us eternally, our separate past, weighing us down. Preventing us from forgetting, or moving forward, together.

Timing really is everything.

Again, Those who have played little parts in my life – I can’t help wondering how different things might have been, if the timing had been different. As a 20-something myself, who, for a long time felt finding a mate and settling down were lower on her things-to-do list than "build successful career" and "lead exciting social life", I'm now beginning to view eternal partnership as crucial. Not because I feel incapable without a mate, on the contrary, because I'm ecstatic at the idea of sharing my life with him. I wonder when this shift to “ready” happens. Is it really a true desire to settle down or is it because it fits the script and everyone else around you is doing it? The same guy friends of mine, who, just a few years ago wouldn't have dreamed of giving up their party nights for a girl, are now spending their coveted weekends dining with dates and taking their girlfriends shopping. I think it’s all really sweet, though it does turn my stomach a little sometimes, the extent to which some would go…it’s definitely interesting to notice the shift occurring; among my like-aged group of friends (the girls have certainly shifted faster than the boys). the transition is officially beginning to take place. I don’t know what causes this transition in people…I can only come to the conclusion that maybe love and relationships are all things that happen continuously in our life. What really defines the relationship finally is the timing. And so, it turns out that “they” were right.